So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
