Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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