I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I have aggressive nipples.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
