Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
