oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
