No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
