YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
