Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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