I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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