I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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