Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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