you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
