What did we do last night that was yellow?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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