I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
