I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
