quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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