didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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