don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Help. Why am I so naked?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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