We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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