shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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