Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
