Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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