It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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