based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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