did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize