i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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