Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
