i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
