you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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