hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
