The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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