i wish my penis had a tongue
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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