Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
