No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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