I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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