he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
