We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
