I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
