I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
