You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
