My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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