Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
