I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
