This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
