Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
