I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
