Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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