the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
it glows. i had to have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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