the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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