he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
