I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
