there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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