You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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