I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize