names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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