Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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