please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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